Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
