Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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