He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
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We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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