if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
