New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize