thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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