i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
