Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize