I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
