I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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