So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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