Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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