it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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