He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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