so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Are we still banned from the library?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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