Your face is a jimmy john
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
