i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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