ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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