I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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