im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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