break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
