So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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