That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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