That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
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No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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