just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
