haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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