Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
