I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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