have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
