I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I looked at my own cervix.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize