I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
