We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
