Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
