I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
