I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
