So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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