i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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