why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
