i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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