I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
