Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
