turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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