I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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