we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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