So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
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he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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