and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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