So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
