tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
