I am puke
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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