You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
