3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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