we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
