i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
