He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
